bitter sweet

so... while i was waiting for dinner time to come.. i had a few drinks, and some tostitoooos... salsa.. pretzle sticks..and ranch :*(  then i had whipped creme vodka.. yeah.. kinda had my ow n party by myself on the couch.    he ended up making dinner (that i didn't eat.. tooooo full) but hey.. i did marinate the steak..  proud of him. he didn't eat the snack food.   anyway... *throws streamers and confetti* yeaaaahaaa... what a celebration........... needless to say <sigh> my naked fingers seemed lonely, so we  (my finegrs and i) endulged.    I felt SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO guilty afterwards... like... felt like i had just eaten a death by Fudgy chocolate aCAKE! AAAAAAAAAAAH!  so.. i laid in bed, took a short nap.. realized how pathetic this ENTIRE situation was/ why i was eating sh*t... and decided to do something about it!  SO!............. i made myself get up off the bed.......the 9 yr old followed me..............and we ran!!!!!!!!!!!!! YES! I RAN! and damnit it felt wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! like Forrest Gump... here comes jenni... just runn~in.. because i can... and i just raaaaan and raaaaaaaaaan.. ok ok ok ..well... i Jogged.. but it still felt WONDERFUL!    i jogged 1148 in about ten minutes.  WOOHOO! i plan on  bringin that up to 1500 in under ten within the next two weeks :D   OH YEAH!   did i mention... once we turned down our street (all UP HILL!) every front light/ diveway was a milestone for me.... and before i knew it.............. i was super close to my house!!!!!! i sprinted to my hosue once i was 5 houses away........... rant o the steps.. and plopped down.   tyler was congratulating me on a job well done as i didn't stop running Once!!!!!!!!!!! and kept going at a steady pace the entire time!  (i love my support system!)   then...it hit me like a Ton of bricks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ever see the show I USED TO BE FAT???   like..9 out of 10 of the kids hurl after their first real cardio?? well..yeah.. that was Me!!!!!!!!!!!!! and as gross as it was... it also felt great! I SAW IT AS.. i FINALLY pushed myself... i didn't puss out..and stop bc it was too hard.. or bc "i couldn't do it"............. i pushed myself!!  I DID IT! i can't wait to go again tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!      as for the chips.. (i truely went overboard...) i have no doubt in my mind that.. *TMI WARNING!* i ralphed all the chips up and out!........... so .. i don't need to feel TOOOOO bad about "cheating" today... it wasn't worth it..  esp after running and workin my butt off! and yackin and stuff!!!! i def had regrets.   ANYWAY!!!............ here's to a new me.. YET again!!!!                            what new accomplishments have you done/have set in mind?  dn't underestimate yourself. YOU YOURSELF are your ONLY Barrier to anything and everything. YOU CAN DO IT!